Growerism

So how does one become a gardener and dedicates her life in working elbow deep in soil and shit with minimum wage?

Well, the first plant-related memory I have is eating a Kalanchoë.

It was orange and the flowers were the most delicious thing right there and then.

So I ate all of them.

I was a fat kid

So apparently I was either so interested about plants I couldn't resist them back then 

OR 

eating a Kalanchoë made me this interested about plants so that I can't resist them.

Apparently Kalanchoës aren't poisonous.

 I have also always been interested in the little bugs and critters that run around outdoors.

I used to collect snails, ladybugs and caterpillars and watch them grow and do their bug-stuff.

( Yea snails ain't bugs I know but bug-stuff sounds cool )

Until I stepped on a huge ass snail once BAREFOOT.

It was all slimy and disgusting and wouldnt wash off and I'm not going to lie it was at least twenty centimeters long!

SO I declared a vendetta towards all snails and I've been dedicated my life in insecticides ever since.

I now am fully prepared to kill any bug and/or snail and/or arachnid I face.

I've always been one with the nature.

I was naked most of the time in my childhood.

Other things I remember are playing with Legos under a huge Spathiphyllum and the big red Hibiscus on a stem we had in our home.

Spathiphyllums are still one of my favourite plants since they're always renewing themselves and have this awesome jungle feel in them.

Also they're easy to take care of and flourish in ridiculous conditions.

Spathiphyllums rule.

So if you think being a gardener is for you, go eat some foreign plants and kill some bugs while you're at it and you'll be a professional in no time!

Flower girls know how deep to bury your body so that no one will find it.